Nine experiences familial caregivers can relate to

When it comes to familial caregiving, each caregiver's experience is unique. Yet, many aspects of caregiving are universal to some degree. This post includes nine experiences many caregivers encounter, plus practical steps to consider if you find yourself actively in one or more of these experiences.

If you’re a caregiver, you can use this list to feel less alone, be mindful of what may lie ahead, and spot signs that you need more support.

1. Emotional and/or physical exhaustion 

Whether you live with the person you care for or not, caregiving can be incredibly emotionally and physically demanding. At a foundational level, watching your loved one change before your eyes can bring up many emotions, including anticipatory grief.

Furthermore, the day-to-day tasks of helping to manage another person’s life require a great deal of time, energy, and physical effort. Even when you try to pace yourself, it can feel like the list of all that is involved in caregiving only continues to grow which can ultimately lead to burnout. Keep your eyes open for support opportunities and consider ways to relieve stress when caring for someone else.

2. Guilt and uncertainty

As a caregiver, you face numerous choices of varying magnitude and impact daily. It’s easy for doubt and uncertainty to creep in. You may feel guilty when things pan out differently than you expected or you feel like you can’t meet all the demands in front of you. Explore ways to cope with caregiver guilt so you can face it, grow from it, and let it go.

3. Financial strain

Many caregivers face unexpected changes and costs that impact their financial situation. If you find yourself altering your work schedule, routines, travel patterns, and more, you may encounter unforeseen expenses. If you are responsible for the needs or medical expenses of your loved one, you will feel this to an even greater extent. While you can’t anticipate everything, there are some ways you can reduce financial surprises as a caregiver. 

4. Social isolation

With a long list of tasks and things to keep track of, you may find that much of your time is allocated to caregiving or it’s increasingly more challenging to make plans in advance. Moreover, you may feel too exhausted to do anything when you have time. All of these factors can lead to greater social isolation.

It can be easy to dismiss feelings of isolation when caregiving continues to keep you on your toes. But don’t ignore it for too long as isolation can have a broader impact on your health and well-being, and family caregivers are particularly impacted by loneliness. Keep in mind ways you can prevent further social isolation.

Consider a virtual community if you struggle to find good local options to connect. When you join Steadii, you gain access to an exclusive caregiver community.

5. Impact on personal relationships

Along with social isolation, you likely find your relationships with friends and family shifting. Care needs, financial responsibilities, and planning can bring new layers of complexity to your relationships with your partner, siblings, and other close members of your family or chosen family.

Even more, the added demands your facing may introduce more significant pressure on your time which can lead to tension and disagreements. As one Forbes article notes, caregiving is the ultimate relationship challenge for a couple; the same article continues with practical tips for reclaiming yourself and love through it all. Many of these tips, like being real, apply well to any close relationship.

6. Role reversal

At some point, you likely noticed that you’ve shifted into a new role as you become more responsible for your loved one. This can be particularly pronounced if you’re caring for a parent. And, if you’re caring for your partner, you may notice that you feel less of the partnership you once experienced.

Any time you shift into greater responsibility for another person, you can find yourself experiencing a sense of loss for the ways you once related to one another. This can be difficult to navigate and emotionally challenging. While it’s incredibly important to make space to feel what you’re feeling, it can also be helpful to focus on what you can still do to relationship with your loved one.

7. Finding support can be challenging

While in theory, many caregivers will agree that they wish to find more support, finding or organizing that support can be a hurdle. From the energy required to find or organize support to receiving the level of quality needed and within your budget, it’s often not easy.

Furthermore, there can be a significant amount of emotional labor involved in orchestrating the support you need. It can all become quite overwhelming. When you’re in the thick of overwhelm, try one of these four options. Sometimes, resetting your nervous system is just what you need to approach things again.

8. Loss of personal identity

With all the items on the list before this one, there’s almost no need to explain. With the demands of caregiving, you may find that the time you previously spent on hobbies and leisure activities like painting, trying a new class, cooking, hiking, or reading has dwindled significantly.

Beyond changes to how you spend your time, the significant role shifts you are making can easily make your identity feel less familiar. Furthermore, you may notice that your goals, aspirations, and self-care are taking a back seat to what feels like a necessity.

Remember that caring for yourself is as important as caring for your loved one. In addition, when you care for yourself, you are also caring for your loved one as you increase your sense of resiliency. Honor yourself as a caregiver by exploring five ways to reconnect with who you are.

9. Health challenges

Last but not least, it is not uncommon for health challenges to present while you’re in your caregiving journey. According to A Place for Mom, “Research shows caregiving can take a serious toll on one’s emotional and physical well-being, leading to chronic conditions and increased depression and anxiety.”

So, while it can be tempting day after day to set aside self-care or put off doing something you enjoy, remember that there truly is a powerful reason to put yourself first. As a result, you’ll be able to continue to support your loved one.

As you reflect on this list, remember you’re not alone and consider one area you’d like to focus on this week. Jot it down on a sticky note and place it in a place you’ll be able to see at least once each day. After all, making shifts is all about choosing something bite-sized and approachable.